Listen now | Ever wondered how our grandparents managed to raise kids without the modern parenting playbook? Prepare for a dose of nostalgia mixed with unapologetic truth as I scrutinize the seismic shift from the "children should be seen and not heard" era to today's child-centric philosophies. With a candid examination of the no-nonsense language that once defined parenting, I contrast it with the current trend of explaining and negotiating every boundary.
A wise friend of mine once asked another friend the question, “When does the statute of limitations run out on “bad parenting”?” This was in the context of a colleague constantly whining about her “awful parents” who refused to provide “emotional support” for the ongoing string of poor decisions their adult child made. Instead, her “awful parents” would warn her of the potential consequences of those decisions, and generally would either not fund them financially or would not bail her out of the consequences. During that discussion the wise colleague and I decided that the statute of limitations runs out when the child turns 18. Once you are 18 all decisions/life choices are yours and so are the consequences. If you don’t want your parents to have a say, stop taking their money.
Too many parents today raised their kids with an eye toward being liked (as you show in your podcast) and continue that behavior once their kids are adults. I know far too many parents who are ruled by their adult children - even to the point of the kids deciding where Mom and Dad will live - I’m not talking about assisted living/nursing home, I’m talking about what city and state, and even what house. The parents are so scared that if they don’t do what their kids demand that their kids won’t like them anymore or will withhold the grandkids from them.
My siblings and I were raised the way you recommend. We loved and respected our parents and took care of both of them until the days they died. I can’t imagine someone being afraid to say no to their kids, but I see it every day.
A wise friend of mine once asked another friend the question, “When does the statute of limitations run out on “bad parenting”?” This was in the context of a colleague constantly whining about her “awful parents” who refused to provide “emotional support” for the ongoing string of poor decisions their adult child made. Instead, her “awful parents” would warn her of the potential consequences of those decisions, and generally would either not fund them financially or would not bail her out of the consequences. During that discussion the wise colleague and I decided that the statute of limitations runs out when the child turns 18. Once you are 18 all decisions/life choices are yours and so are the consequences. If you don’t want your parents to have a say, stop taking their money.
Too many parents today raised their kids with an eye toward being liked (as you show in your podcast) and continue that behavior once their kids are adults. I know far too many parents who are ruled by their adult children - even to the point of the kids deciding where Mom and Dad will live - I’m not talking about assisted living/nursing home, I’m talking about what city and state, and even what house. The parents are so scared that if they don’t do what their kids demand that their kids won’t like them anymore or will withhold the grandkids from them.
My siblings and I were raised the way you recommend. We loved and respected our parents and took care of both of them until the days they died. I can’t imagine someone being afraid to say no to their kids, but I see it every day.