Off The Cuff: Proverbs 22:15 Is About Children…and It’s About Some Adults, Too!
AUTHOR’S PRETEXT: Every once in a while, I get a wild hair and feel the urge to share it with the class. The wild hairs in question include, but are not limited to, thoughts on politics, rock ‘n’ roll, culture, theology, religion, Elvis impersonators, Taylor Swift impersonators, or just whatever. Today’s wild hair is about conspiracy theories and one of my favorite verses from the Book of Proverbs and some other things as well. I report, you decide. (Oh, and rest assured, because you did not sign up for my thoughts on anything other than raising children, these sorts of wild hairs are pro bono.)
A friend is convinced that more than one person was shooting at Donald Trump in Pennsylvania on July 13. He sends me articles by like-minded conspiracy-at-the-very-top-of-the-food-chain theorists, reports by ballistics experts, photographs of the shooter as he’s taking aim, comments made by former Secret Service agents, links to the websites of various underground militia, prophetic quotes from Nostradamus, and so on. Imagine the unrelenting stream of stuff I got from him after the 2020 election (which, btw, I too think was a wagon load of funny business).
My friend wants me to agree with him, obviously. Well, okay. I agree we live in crazy days. I agree things aren’t trending toward less crazy. I agree Joe Biden is an extraterrestrial body snatcher. No, not that, but I do agree that if Kamala Harris is elected in November, the happiest person in the whole wide world will be Vladimir Putin, followed closely by Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un and the Ayatollah, in no particular order.
But, I digress.
So, concerning the “multiple-shooters theory of July 13, 2024,” after much reading and listening and cogitating I’ve come to the conclusion that the evidence for at least two shooters is compelling, albeit not quite convincing. The ballistics and acoustical evidence push me toward convinced, but something I can’t quite put my finger on is still lacking.
I remain skeptical of my buddy’s case mainly because as the Only Psychologist in the World Who Survived Graduate School Still in Possession of Good Old-Fashioned Common Sense, I’m acutely aware that it is the nature of human beings to gravitate toward the most dramatic explanation for any human phenomenon.
I call it The Proverbs 22:15 Principle: Human beings are attracted to soap opera—especially the opportunity to create soap opera out of the most mundane aspects of their lives—like moths are attracted to flame.
“John,” says someone out there in ReaderLand, “Proverbs 22:15 talks about the propensity of children to be foolish. It says nothing about adults.”
Right! And according to the standard set forth by that very scripture, many adults are still children. They are driven by emotion. They make soap opera out of their lives. Foolishness is perpetually bound in their hearts. You know at least three of the folks in question, probably more. Maybe you know lots of them. Maybe you’re one of them! No, of course you’re not. Just kidding. Okay, but you know enough of them to know they are miserable creatures, all. Sad, sad, sad but true.
And so, many adult humans will prefer the multiple shooter theory simply because it is a far more dramatic theory than the alternative, which has its dramatic aspects but still falls short of qualifying for Hollywood, starring Daniel Radcliffe. Objective evidence of no conspiracy, if any can be found, will not matter to these folks. They are true believers in conspiracies and that’s that.
Mind you, I’m not saying the multiple shooter theory is wrong. I’m saying it’s more conducive to producing soap opera than the “bullied, alienated young man who just suddenly went off the rails” theory. Nor am I saying all conspiracy theories are off the wall. I hope they aren’t because for the life of me I cannot believe one mail-order, bolt-action rifle fired all those shots that quickly and precisely.
CODA: By the way and in conclusion, if one repeats “Lee Harvey Oswald Thomas Crooks” over and over, at around the five hundred and thirty-fourth repetition it begins to sound like “Ming the Merciless is Emperor of the Universe.” No, really. Try it for yourself.
Copyright 2024, John K. Rosemond
LOVED this column, John. I am surrounded by people, primarily female, who are heavily into conspiracy theories. They are generally intelligent women who, I suspect, have way too much time on their hands. Most are widowed/divorced and the ones who are still married have husbands who largely ignore them, which makes them ripe candidates for anyone who makes them feel listened to and social media is all about people who crave attention. When I hear some of the crazy conspiracy ideas they believe I try to diplomatically point out why this would be impossible to pull off, if only because too many people would have to be in on the conspiracy. The more people who are in on it, the less likely it could remain a secret.
As for the Trump assassination attempt conspiracy theory, this could be squelched pretty quickly if the government agencies who are “investigating” it would be more forthcoming with their findings rather than working overtime to cover their butts. The truth would go a long way toward silencing those who like to think the worst about every situation.