In the counseling I do with couples concerning child-rearing issues, I almost invariably find that serious behavior problems (of the sort that would cause parents to seek professional help) with a child reflect equally serious problems in the husband/wife relationship—problems that have been swept under the proverbial rug. Adding bad on top of bad, the problems in question are so culturally ubiquitous that they are not obvious even to close family and friends much less the two people involved.
Perhaps the most prevalent report from the parents of a child who is giving them fits is, “My spouse and I are not on the same page when it comes to how to discipline or even what the problem is at times.”
