During a recent text exchange with my wife, a new grandmother sent a photo of her four-week-old grandchild.
My wife, who would be a Professional Grandmother if there was such a thing, replied, “Oh! Give her a kiss for me!”
New Grandma replied, “I can’t.”
Huh?
Turns out, NG is not allowed to kiss the child until she is eight weeks of age. Until then, she is only allowed limited handling and must wear one of those completely useless facial cloths imposed on us during the Plague Years. According to the parents, those are the doctor’s orders. Oh, and by the way, the parents may kiss the child all they want, and they don’t have to wear masks. Everyone knows that makes perfect sense.
Having never heard of such a thing, I turned to my new friend, AI, and discovered (Notice the APOCALYPTIC language, certain to create anxiety in Generation Triggered), “Pediatricians and health organizations strongly advise against letting anyone other than parents or primary caregivers kiss a newborn on the face or hands. This strict ‘no kissing’ guideline is crucial for the first 2 to 3 months of life because newborns have highly immature immune systems and are highly vulnerable to severe, sometimes life-threatening infections.”
Yeah? Since when is NO KISSING THE BABY! crucial to life itself? Funny, I stay up on RESEARCH (if it conforms to the scientific method…that is, RESEARCH as opposed to “research”) and this is the first I’ve heard of it.
