Is Shame a Bad Thing?

During an illustrious career that spanned several decades, Catholic theologian and family therapist John Bradshaw (1933 – 2016) authored several books that popularized the concepts of the dysfunctional family and shame-based parenting. (The interested reader can find a short biography on Wikipedia along with numerous articles referencing Bradshaw’s work by searching John Bradshaw family counselor.)

I recently re-familiarized myself with Bradshaw because the issue of causing children shame came up while counseling the parents of a young boy who exhibited all the markers of impulsive, disruptive, defiant, aggressive and explosive disorder (IDDAED) – a not-uncommon description in the Age of Gentle Parenting, which, pardon the rabbit hole, works very well on fairies and leprechauns but not so well on human males.